Self-Obsession: Right Or Wrong?

Well, going by the definition that society has given, the answer to this question is always YES, a big YES. But, what if I tell you that the definition of self-obsession is not always the same what we have learnt all this time ever since our birth. No problem, we will come to that part later, for now let’s try and understand why self-obsession is bad going by the society’s words.

“Self-obsession is a state of mind, or an act of being pre-occupied with one’s own thought. In such cases people start thinking too much about themselves, starting with their look to the matter being talked upon. They want their presence made at every nook and corner of talks and life.”

Now, that we all know what exactly self-obsession is, lets elaborate on this and find out what the reason of this can be.

Reason 1. Getting to think that one is superior to all:

There are cases where an individual thinks that he/she is better than all and no one else is anything when compared to him/her. Well, to a certain extent people can understand this feeling of yours, provided you are actually good at something. But, when this crosses the line and you start defaming others for no other reason than you think that others are inferior to you. Here is when people start blaming you for being self-obsessed and not caring about other’s sentiments and feelings. (One thing to notice here is that there are two parts of this and both are nowhere dependent or are consequence of the other, though we will come back to this a little later but this has to be understood.) Now, you ask my opinion for this whether this is right or not, well, my answer is same as yours, yes definitely it is and will always be wrong.

Reason 2. Let’s get directly into the details in this case:

Let me start off with a scenario here, There is a person who is living his/her life completely alone and then there is no one else around him/her to take care or tell him/her about what they exactly need to do in order to live there life in a proper fashion. Now, since the person knows well that he/she is completely self-dependent and there can be no one who cares or for that instance gives a damn about how they look like or what they are doing with their life. Since, this is the case, that person starts thinking about himself/herself and this grows up to a level, where he/she keeps track of each single and minute detail about themselves. If not asking about others, at least they never bother anyone with their own self-obsession, if it can be called so.

So, going by the above scenario, what do you think? Is it so that Self-obsession is always wrong? Isn’t it that when the scenario is the second one, a person has no choice than to be self-obsessed? Coz that is what is needed for that person, in order to maintain proper lifestyle.

Ask me, I would say, there is a fine line where the self-obsession starts becoming bad and start annoying people around. But, please do not look at everyone who takes care of himself/herself rather than being dependent on someone to do so and at the same time is not creating any trouble for you, as being self-obsessed. May be, not everyone can understand that person’s situation and his/her image in the society starts getting deteriorated with just one comment of yours.

Thanks for reading, Do let me know your thoughts on this.

Friends : The real saviors !

All of us, almost daily, meet so many new peoples of which few vanish once they are off our contact, and few leave an impression of them on us which we either like or try to forget. But then, there are set of people who we meet and they stay back in our lives. They stay back with their soul and heart attached to us. We start liking their company and they do like ours. They suddenly become special to us and start building a special place in our lives. These relations are normally named as “FRIENDS”, but are you sure all of them stay just friends? Well may be Yes, in certain cases. But as long as my experience or knowledge goes, the answer is NO.

These special group of people are not always the people from opposite sex, they can be from your gender as well. Also, not to get confused with more than friends with love partners (bf/gfs), they are less than love and more than friends. Well, if you are unable to follow, what I mean. Let me explain:

“There are peoples who understand exactly what we feel and what we need at any given time, and they try to let us feel comfortable and happy with their presence around us. They don’t have any feelings called love towards us but still they love us more than just love but as a true friend. They stay available for each and every need of ours but they never let us develop any feeling for them. Such are the peoples, who are more than friend but less than lovers.”

Above, at quite a few places, I have mentioned “less than love”, this means in the sense of advancement in the relationship and does not point towards the depth of relationship.

Well, ask me honestly and my answer would be I will prefer to be with such special friends any day rather than wasting my time with a person who is with me for a reason. Not that all the lovers are with each other for a reason but, I just stated an example. Love is a truly special feeling that can never be replaced by any single entity in this universe, without any doubt.

Coming back to such friends, they play a real special role in your lives, at least they did to me and they feel the same about me (if I am not wrong!). Let me try to justify this with an incident – There was a time when one person was so damn depressed that he was thinking of so many evil things about his life and was not able to focus on his career and any other aspect of his life. He was clearly lacking the goal and aim of his life. He was so damn depressed that he was skipping his lunch dinner and complete food routine as well. He was so much into the bad things that he forgot completely what his identity is. Then, he got the company of few of his best friends and they made him come back to normal life, if not completely but at least, almost. They made him focus back onto the goal that he has to achieve in his life, his social and family responsibility and also they brought him back from the state of depression. In short you can say, they made him SMILE, yes, he did smiled back again. In fact, his friends on his birthday, which he was not even willing to celebrate, made one of the best and memorable birthdays ever.

Though, the above story may not be one of the best drama or whatever scene, but it is above all, THE FACT. This particular instance made that guy realize what the meaning of a true friend is and what is friendship beyond just friendship is. And to be very precise, those certain set of friend, what they did was nothing special. Those were just the simple words that everyone says to you when you are upset or not well. But, what made the difference was that they listened to him and made him understand that what has happened was past and doesn’t decide your future. Well, that is not all but also they made themselves available 24*7 and at any moment, whenever he needed them. Some stayed back with him for almost entire night not letting him feel alone and some who were far away, consoled him and shown him the correct path via phone, chats and other digital world communications. Whenever I meet that guy, and he narrates these things to me (though I myself don’t prefer him to go back to those memories, but whenever he does), he certainly will have tears in his eyes, which does not come out because of pain he suffered, instead because of the love and care that he got from his besties during that time. He is more than just happy and thanks all of his friends from the bottom of his heart.  He truly turns emotional, speaking about those memories, and rightly so, coz when I do look eyes locked at him, I feel those vibes of happiness going on as waves. His eye shines when he talk about those memories. And now, if somebody feels happy remembering things about the worst part of his life, dude, that means something.

So, there are people in our lives who can turn out to be such friends to us who are actually more than just friends, all we need to do is to recognize them from the lot. If we succeed, we will be luckiest person and if we don’t, we lacked somewhere in doing the right things to get such a person. Remember, god never discriminates, he provides opportunities to all. All we need to do is to cash on.

And as the saying goes:

“A true friend is way better than millions of books on shelves of a library.”

Thanks to all such friends! You all are so special and hold a real big place in my heart. J Bbye! C ya.

Parents

Back to blogs,eh !? Yes, I am. So let's start.

Disclaimer : These are completely my personal thoughts and need not be agreed upon.

Dear dad,

We are cared by or taken care of till we get married (normally/mostly) by our parents. PARENTS - essentially contains mom & dad. Now mom, being the first person we come across, is obviously and rightly the most important person in our lives. Correct !?

Now that we all are so aware of importance that our mom holds in our lives, let's move to the very next person in the queue after our loving mother. Who else but dad,father pops, daddy. Name of your choice but the role, dude one can't even imagine until u become one.

We all or at least most of us have a very strict or very discipline imposing image of our daddys, but did we ever thought what would have happened to us had we been grown up only under the loving caring and ever mistake ignoring moms ? Well, we could have end up being mumma's son who plays around and who might not have become a true social animal (well that's just my assumption, need not be true,but just give it a thought).

Most of the beatings and scoldings that we (at least kids of my generations and earlier) got were from dad and we use to have a virtual alarm set in our brains notifying us well in advance about the dad's home coming time post work. What days that were !! Wow. But, ask me honestly or for that matter anyone of my generation mates, did we hate it ? Answer is: that time yes we did. But now ? NO.. WE CHERISH THAT.

A true saviour, superhero, if I can call him, who sacrificed every single joy of him, just to make sure we have what we need and also we are not going on the wrong path with what we get, by limiting the resources only to what we actually need.

Dad, to me, is not the second most important person of my life, but he is equivalent to my mom and they both are far far ahead of any other Gods or goddesses that can ever exist.

Love you dad. MyOnlySuperHero. #Respect.

Your Son.