The nation.

Pride, Galore, Patriotism, etc. were all the words and feelings, the lady in tears were being told about. These were the feelings that every single person around the tri-colour wrapped martyr was having right then. Life of the martyr seem to be such a big inspiration for every one in the country, the day this happened. Every one was in tears, but at the same time, they all felt their chest puffed up with pride. The Lady, his wife, she was in tears and in almost unconscious state. She somewhere knew the fact that, her husband is martyred fighting for the lovely land of mother India, which he considered as closest to his heart and his supreme duty was only to protect it. But, also she knew that, getting same respect and dedication back from the other, who will handle the proceedings of further formalities, is a distant hope.

The lady, in sorrow of demise, of her loving husband, was uncertain whether to mourn the death, or to be proud of the sacrifice, or start thinking about the time ahead. She, no doubt, was proud of what her husband has achieved, but she also knew that, taking care of time that was to come, will be equally brutal and tough. She is the one, whom the children will look to, whenever they need anything - emotions,care, or literally anything.

Then she saw, a pool of people gathered around and were talking about the courage and dedication of the tri-colour wrapped martyr. This gave her a sense of assurance that things are not gonna be as though as she once thought of. But, alas ! This assurance vanished pretty immediately, as she looked over to the other side where two kids, completely mixed with mud and dust, playing in their own world, and unaware of what has happened. They didn't know, that they have lost someone whom they have called "Papa" for whatever time they have been together. She immediately realised that, these kids are now, the sole responsibility of hers. She has to act as father and the mother both for her entire life.

Few days passed by, she happened to watch TV and hear some news. She came across an announcement, where they said, her family will be awarded with cash, to look after the needs of the family. She somewhere knew that these are nothing but, a publicity stunt for the politicians. Still, she tried approaching the officials for it, only to get a response that the things take time and she will get the cash award, as it comes to them, sooner or later. She was disappointed as she was walking out of the official's cabin, someone told her, give them something and you'll get ur money. Hearing this she said, my husband gave his life to protect the nation, let me do my share by not bribing, no matter i get the award or not. Salute to the lady !! Salute to the soldiers !! Salute to the Nation !! Jai Hind !!

Perception : Good or Bad ??

That person is gonna create so much of trouble, you know. Reason ?? Dude, he is a bihari. You know how they are.

What do you call this ? You call this intuition ? Prediction? Foresight?? Nah. This is a simple and flat case of wrong perception.

Perception, the way in which something is regarded, understood, or interpreted. Why does one have a perception? Is it because, someone is forced to have one ? What happens is that if a certain action is repeated by a certain set of individual or a person, that becomes the identity of that individual or group. These actions may be good or bad, based on which people make a good or bad perception respectively.

But, the bigger aspect to this is that, if one person does one thing, how does it determine that, every other individual related to him or her will do the same ? I do not see any sense in this logic. Do you ? If one person is a nuisance, then may be he or she is the rotten egg in the basket, and not that the entire basket is rotten. Same way, a person being good never determine that everyone related will be good. At least, not always.

What do we do then ? Question is not worth being asked. Because, answer is simple. Do not create perception. Do not bound a person's identity to a certain act or behavior. He/she may have done that out of some reasons, which you might not be aware of. And, may be, that action would have been correct, just that you failed to decipher that properly.

Impact of perception in people's mind is real tragic guys. It makes many suffer a lot. Despite, them being very different from that perception.

Also, to everyone else, who are victim of this perception tragedy, pls be real real careful with what you do, what you speak and how you act, coz somewhere, someone might be creating a perception of it. Be careful.

Be natural, be good and be genuine. Perception never helps. All it does is, it hurts. Either you or the other. Refrain from it.

Tata. Bbye !!

Be Anti-social !!

You know what is the worst part of being social ? People start judging you and giving you a label and also start defining your level. As if this is what they are being paid for or this is something there way to attain mokcha is. They bloody don't even think once that they are no one, i mean literally no one to decide, what we are or what level we have. And this is not something that one person or a certain set of group does. This is done by every single person we ever come across, irrespective of caste, color, religion, region, etc.

What I feel like, when going thru such situation ? This must be the question that must be coming across.

Man ! Cut that crap. You are not eligible enough to judge me, and for that matter, no one is. Not just b'coz you don't know me completely. But also, because, you are no one to do that. You are not authorized to do that, not by someone who is eligible enough to allow you, at least. So, please stop giving me this cerificate created by your imaginations, which are no where linked to the real me. Seriously, cut this crap guys.

What made you to get so involved, that you started issuing me a character certificate and defining what level I hold. Is it an action of mine, which was either provoked by a certain turn out of events or an immediate poke. May be, that is not what I am and was just the response to stimuli. You removing your hand while being pinched suddenly, is not what your nature is. It's just that the situation demands that action from you and you did. May be, you never back off your hand when your loved ones need you to be there for them. So, this sudden or single action can define one. Neither you, nor me.

So let's not judge someone on there certain actions and let's wait for the real person in him to come out, if at all you are so eager to judge a person.

Also, may be, there has been an instance, where I wanted to show you what you are on your face. And you are not at all worthy of anything. This truth while was being told to you on you face, must have made you feel bad, and you must have made a perception, thinking that, I am no good or I am cheap.

You know what ? I don't care. I don't give a damn about what you think. Plain and simple, It's none of my business. You are wrong, you handle it. You gonna tell that to people ? Please, go ahead and do it. Because, those who understands me, won't believe you and those who believe you, are the ones whom I am least bothered about. Short and simple, stop getting bothered about what I am and what is my level, mind your own freaking business. I love what I am and needless to say, will keep loving myself. Your perception never had an impact on that and will never have.

Go get a life guys.

I prefer being Anti-social !! Thank you.

Feelings

Hey Hi !! Here's a new one !!

Feelings.

What are feelings ?? How do they develop ?? What stimulates there growth ?? Why do we even have that ??

Well, to me these are pretty complicated and I just gave it a shot via my own specs of thoughts, in the paras to come. So let's go thru what I feel about these.

Feelings, can be good or can be bad. Can make us happy or can make us go angry. Can make us fall in love or can well may make us come out of an established relationship. So,what defines them !! Ask me, and I would say, these are the observations that our soul (not brain) make every passing second. I said not brain because, brain observes things and translates them into our thought process or may be perception, but never feelings. Though, at times, our perception or thought process help us develop certain types of feelings but not always, so count brain out. So, feelings are special, undoubtedly. These are our very own degree of inclination or declination towards or away from a certain individual.

Now, how do they develop:

Trust me on this, but going by what I have observed till date, there is no certain or fixed way of this. It just happens, may be at times due to a certain action but that's very rare. Feelings develop because of certain things that keep happening over a continuous period of time, either good or bad. They never just get developed due to one incident or action. There are cases where, we never come to know that we have got feelings for a certain individual, unless we actually develop it. Also, we may develop feelings for an individual, whom we never even imagined, we will. So, its pretty complicated.

Why do we even have feelings:

Since, we are all human beings, we are blessed with amazingly confusing organs named soul and heart. These organs lives or survives on certain special food. Well, no points for guessing the right answer though, this food is feeling and emotion. And knowingly or unknowingly, we tend to feed them with their favorite food, in order to keep ourselves alive.

There is a bigger picture to this as well, in the making though. Will share with you, once that work is completed.

Thanks. Sayonara. Ta-Ta.

Expression

What happens when we go thru something in our life ? How do others come to know about what we are going thru ? What makes a happy person differ from one who is sad ? What do we do when we are happy or similarly what shows we are sad ?

Answer to all these questions is in just one word - EXPRESSION, expression of feelings !! We smile, laugh, grin and cheer up when we get happy. On the other hand, we cry, sob or feel down whenever we are sad. Don't we ? Yes, we do.

Now, here is what I want to talk about this very simple and common things of expression. What decides that a smile is always an expression of happiness ? What decides tears rolling down the eyes always denote sadness ? On the contrary, there have always been instances, where tears show extreme happiness.

I have seen ppl in my life who use to have a very different way of expressing there feelings than others, and in fact, they never failed to convey there feelings. Though, not all can decipher the true meaning of every expression. But, one thing is for sure, those who have been thru such things can understand. What happens when we are disappointed immensely but have none next to us to share the load ? Few may cry, others may get angry or may panic. But, trust me on this, I have seen ppl who just stare blank at the sky or to a point zero, without uttering a single word or showing any symbol of stress on there face. Does this mean, that, situation does not have any impact on them ? Certainly not. They are impacted as well, it's just that they don't want others to know, what exactly are they going thru.

Few ppl keep smiling, instead of immense pain or problems that they have in there lives. This may keep the environment around them positive and happy, but at the same time this helps them prevent others from digging into there wounds and hurt them more. Because, they feel, it's better to keep things to oneself rather than to let ppl keep digging the same repeatedly.

So, pls stop stereotyping expressions. A smile doesn't always say, all is well or a tear doesn't always mean one is stressed.

Life is short, let's stay happy and help ppl stay happy in whatever possible way we can !!

Thanks !! Love !! GudBye !!

Difficulties and how to deal with it.

"This blog is entirelyly out of my personal experience and they are completely my own beliefs."

What happens when we face difficult situations in our life ?? Don't we panic ?? We all do. We get sad, we get annoyed, we feel down and much more. These are the human's own way of expressing the pain that one goes thru.

What is the best way to overcome these tricky situation ?? I am calling it as a tricky situation coz I feel so. Why I feel so is because, these situations are not permanent and at the same time can be very painful and may cause an individual to loose his or her cool completely for that span of time. So, now coming back to the ways to overcome. To know the best ways, first we have to understand what are the ways that we all use. Out of all those ways, we will try to find out which are the good ones and leave out the non reasonable ones.

We scream, mostly when we get annoyed or irritated. Don't we ? We all do. But, let's see it from a third person's point of view. Suppose you are passing by and you see a person shouting on somebody and abusing. Does it look or sound correct to you ? Answer is NO. Never. Then, why we do that ? We all do. Or at least most of us, with me also not being an exception. So, this is certainly not the best way to tackle such situation. Screaming - Striked out.

Next, what we do is we get violent. We in many cases cross the line and get violent. We try to use our force because of anger overflowing in our brains. Every great who took birth on this planet have sometime or the other mentioned - Anger is the biggest enemy of an individual. And rightly so. When we let anger get over our consciousness, we actually loose the war against forces trying to not let us behave humanly. So, anger can never be the solution. In fact once we calm down we always end up regretting about what we have done out of anger. So Anger - striked out.

Above were just the two examples where we see how we harm ourselves while trying to teach the other person a lesson.

Let's see a golden approach of handling such situation.

Breathe deeply, think, analyse and then decide. Don't jump on to conclusions. Now, every one will say, these things are easier said than done. Indeed they are. I agree completely. But, as the saying goes, nothing is impossible, if u try for it and try it right. So friends, try and keep yourself calm. Take wiser decisions and save yourself from humiliation and regret later.

And remember, To forgive someone is the biggest punishment you can ever give.

Thanks and Good Bye !!

Pleasure of being mad !

Well, my dad will always say this to me whenever such situation comes - there is a great pleasure in being mad, which none else but a mad knows. And I always use to think, what is he actually trying to convey by saying this ??

Does this make sense to you guys ? Do you guys have any idea about what this actually means ?

Well, answer of mine as well was a no unless one day, it actually came to my mind all of a sudden and the meaning of it kind of was somewhere seemed to be sorted out. So, this is what I actually understood of it(may be i will check with my dad once i meet him, but till then, here is my version):

We all are so much deep into the daily routine and the work schedule of ours, just to make sure we are not lacking any thing that might be required to make our lives easier. So, here is the catch. As a kid, we all wanted to be a happy person and lead a beautiful life once we grow up. But, be honest and tell me, is that so ?? Our easy and convenient life is what we always wished for, when we were a kid ? I doubt that !! Or, at least I was the one who wanted a peaceful and beautiful life. Now, just to fulfill our dreams or ambitions we try and go beyond what we are actually capable of, which in turn makes our life very stressed. But, since this culture of overloading ourselves is so deep into our society that we can't even get away from this, even if we want. It takes enormous will-power and mental peace to get out of all this and lead a stress free yet beautiful life.

This will-power and mental peace is something which very few of us get to achieve. And those who achieve this stand out of the crowd. May not be very successful always but for sure very happy and satisfied than rest of the world.

Now that I have said so much lets come to the conclusion.

Let's see here a scenario which most of us can relate to - One among us is letting go off a wonderful opportunity he or she is getting just to make sure that he spends that stipulated amount of time with his or her family or on something he/she always has been fond of. What others around him or her will think ? Won't they think that the person is a fool and has no respect for the things coming his way ? They will for sure. But, think of a broader picture now. That person by leaving what would have been a good opportunity, is grabbing the best moments of life and also making those who are dependent on him, feel accompanied and hence special. Now, you tell me won't you choose best over good ? Was the person a fool who did so ?? Is he or she mad ??

I hope you must have got the answer. A person may seem to be mad if you have short-sighted view, but look at the larger picture, he isn't. So, my Dad's statement holds true. When we see them as mad, they are actually having fun in their own world of pleasure, which no one else but they know.

GoodBye !! Thanks !!

Memories

Memories:

Well, Here is my new Blog or whatever you may call, directly from what I have been thinking for the past some time.

Memories, what are and how they are made? This is what I kept thinking about for the past week or so. We spend quite some time living our life, i.e. the lifespan of ours on this planet is quite long and we come across various things during this time, don’t we? So, what exactly becomes a memory and more importantly, what a memory actually is?

Memory: As we call it, is a feeling or a remembrance of a moment a person or of anything which leaves an impact on our day to day routine. At least, I believe this is what memory is. As we go on with our life, we come across such people and event or any such incident which stays back somewhere in some part of our brain and keeps coming out whenever they are called for or situation arises. Just to emphasize on what I actually mean, let me give out an example, we get up in the morning follow our daily routine and end of the day back to our beds. But, one fine morning, you get up and find that your kids, wife and your family is standing beside your bed wishing you a very happy birthday, which you didn’t expected at all. What happens next? Do you forget what just happened within a fraction of second or you cherish that moment of joy forever? I believe you do cherish. So, you get a memory. Next, let’s move to a more generic example, you are sad because of some stress or some issues, a person sitting next to you and tries to conceal you by whatever way, he or she feels appropriate, and you start feeling well, what this becomes to you? Isn’t it a memory now which you will always recall, next time you are upset and no one is there to help you overcome? This is what as per me is called a memory.

Well now, there is another question, we all have good memories and at the same time we have bad memories too. But, what defines it? What is a good and a bad memory?

Answer to the above question is as simple as that, memories are memories but, what leaves us in grief every time we remember is a bad memory, but the one which makes us smile whenever we refresh them are the ones which can be termed as good ones. Now, since we all know this simple fact, let’s get into more detailed way to understand what happens which make a good memory into a bad one or vice versa.

Well, here is an example to understand this in a much simpler way. We all have some good memories with someone real special in our lives, don’t we?

Undoubtedly, yes! But, what happens when the person is away from us in the most unexpected way, i.e. they leave us and move on with their life without even giving us a real reason to do so. Does the same memory keeps making us happy, no they don’t in most of the cases, simply because every time we remember them, they remind us of that person and leave us grieving. So, this is the case of a good memory turning bad.

Thanks for reading. Do share your feedback.

Manish.

Self-Obsession: Right Or Wrong?

Well, going by the definition that society has given, the answer to this question is always YES, a big YES. But, what if I tell you that the definition of self-obsession is not always the same what we have learnt all this time ever since our birth. No problem, we will come to that part later, for now let’s try and understand why self-obsession is bad going by the society’s words.

“Self-obsession is a state of mind, or an act of being pre-occupied with one’s own thought. In such cases people start thinking too much about themselves, starting with their look to the matter being talked upon. They want their presence made at every nook and corner of talks and life.”

Now, that we all know what exactly self-obsession is, lets elaborate on this and find out what the reason of this can be.

Reason 1. Getting to think that one is superior to all:

There are cases where an individual thinks that he/she is better than all and no one else is anything when compared to him/her. Well, to a certain extent people can understand this feeling of yours, provided you are actually good at something. But, when this crosses the line and you start defaming others for no other reason than you think that others are inferior to you. Here is when people start blaming you for being self-obsessed and not caring about other’s sentiments and feelings. (One thing to notice here is that there are two parts of this and both are nowhere dependent or are consequence of the other, though we will come back to this a little later but this has to be understood.) Now, you ask my opinion for this whether this is right or not, well, my answer is same as yours, yes definitely it is and will always be wrong.

Reason 2. Let’s get directly into the details in this case:

Let me start off with a scenario here, There is a person who is living his/her life completely alone and then there is no one else around him/her to take care or tell him/her about what they exactly need to do in order to live there life in a proper fashion. Now, since the person knows well that he/she is completely self-dependent and there can be no one who cares or for that instance gives a damn about how they look like or what they are doing with their life. Since, this is the case, that person starts thinking about himself/herself and this grows up to a level, where he/she keeps track of each single and minute detail about themselves. If not asking about others, at least they never bother anyone with their own self-obsession, if it can be called so.

So, going by the above scenario, what do you think? Is it so that Self-obsession is always wrong? Isn’t it that when the scenario is the second one, a person has no choice than to be self-obsessed? Coz that is what is needed for that person, in order to maintain proper lifestyle.

Ask me, I would say, there is a fine line where the self-obsession starts becoming bad and start annoying people around. But, please do not look at everyone who takes care of himself/herself rather than being dependent on someone to do so and at the same time is not creating any trouble for you, as being self-obsessed. May be, not everyone can understand that person’s situation and his/her image in the society starts getting deteriorated with just one comment of yours.

Thanks for reading, Do let me know your thoughts on this.

Friends : The real saviors !

All of us, almost daily, meet so many new peoples of which few vanish once they are off our contact, and few leave an impression of them on us which we either like or try to forget. But then, there are set of people who we meet and they stay back in our lives. They stay back with their soul and heart attached to us. We start liking their company and they do like ours. They suddenly become special to us and start building a special place in our lives. These relations are normally named as “FRIENDS”, but are you sure all of them stay just friends? Well may be Yes, in certain cases. But as long as my experience or knowledge goes, the answer is NO.

These special group of people are not always the people from opposite sex, they can be from your gender as well. Also, not to get confused with more than friends with love partners (bf/gfs), they are less than love and more than friends. Well, if you are unable to follow, what I mean. Let me explain:

“There are peoples who understand exactly what we feel and what we need at any given time, and they try to let us feel comfortable and happy with their presence around us. They don’t have any feelings called love towards us but still they love us more than just love but as a true friend. They stay available for each and every need of ours but they never let us develop any feeling for them. Such are the peoples, who are more than friend but less than lovers.”

Above, at quite a few places, I have mentioned “less than love”, this means in the sense of advancement in the relationship and does not point towards the depth of relationship.

Well, ask me honestly and my answer would be I will prefer to be with such special friends any day rather than wasting my time with a person who is with me for a reason. Not that all the lovers are with each other for a reason but, I just stated an example. Love is a truly special feeling that can never be replaced by any single entity in this universe, without any doubt.

Coming back to such friends, they play a real special role in your lives, at least they did to me and they feel the same about me (if I am not wrong!). Let me try to justify this with an incident – There was a time when one person was so damn depressed that he was thinking of so many evil things about his life and was not able to focus on his career and any other aspect of his life. He was clearly lacking the goal and aim of his life. He was so damn depressed that he was skipping his lunch dinner and complete food routine as well. He was so much into the bad things that he forgot completely what his identity is. Then, he got the company of few of his best friends and they made him come back to normal life, if not completely but at least, almost. They made him focus back onto the goal that he has to achieve in his life, his social and family responsibility and also they brought him back from the state of depression. In short you can say, they made him SMILE, yes, he did smiled back again. In fact, his friends on his birthday, which he was not even willing to celebrate, made one of the best and memorable birthdays ever.

Though, the above story may not be one of the best drama or whatever scene, but it is above all, THE FACT. This particular instance made that guy realize what the meaning of a true friend is and what is friendship beyond just friendship is. And to be very precise, those certain set of friend, what they did was nothing special. Those were just the simple words that everyone says to you when you are upset or not well. But, what made the difference was that they listened to him and made him understand that what has happened was past and doesn’t decide your future. Well, that is not all but also they made themselves available 24*7 and at any moment, whenever he needed them. Some stayed back with him for almost entire night not letting him feel alone and some who were far away, consoled him and shown him the correct path via phone, chats and other digital world communications. Whenever I meet that guy, and he narrates these things to me (though I myself don’t prefer him to go back to those memories, but whenever he does), he certainly will have tears in his eyes, which does not come out because of pain he suffered, instead because of the love and care that he got from his besties during that time. He is more than just happy and thanks all of his friends from the bottom of his heart.  He truly turns emotional, speaking about those memories, and rightly so, coz when I do look eyes locked at him, I feel those vibes of happiness going on as waves. His eye shines when he talk about those memories. And now, if somebody feels happy remembering things about the worst part of his life, dude, that means something.

So, there are people in our lives who can turn out to be such friends to us who are actually more than just friends, all we need to do is to recognize them from the lot. If we succeed, we will be luckiest person and if we don’t, we lacked somewhere in doing the right things to get such a person. Remember, god never discriminates, he provides opportunities to all. All we need to do is to cash on.

And as the saying goes:

“A true friend is way better than millions of books on shelves of a library.”

Thanks to all such friends! You all are so special and hold a real big place in my heart. J Bbye! C ya.

Parents

Back to blogs,eh !? Yes, I am. So let's start.

Disclaimer : These are completely my personal thoughts and need not be agreed upon.

Dear dad,

We are cared by or taken care of till we get married (normally/mostly) by our parents. PARENTS - essentially contains mom & dad. Now mom, being the first person we come across, is obviously and rightly the most important person in our lives. Correct !?

Now that we all are so aware of importance that our mom holds in our lives, let's move to the very next person in the queue after our loving mother. Who else but dad,father pops, daddy. Name of your choice but the role, dude one can't even imagine until u become one.

We all or at least most of us have a very strict or very discipline imposing image of our daddys, but did we ever thought what would have happened to us had we been grown up only under the loving caring and ever mistake ignoring moms ? Well, we could have end up being mumma's son who plays around and who might not have become a true social animal (well that's just my assumption, need not be true,but just give it a thought).

Most of the beatings and scoldings that we (at least kids of my generations and earlier) got were from dad and we use to have a virtual alarm set in our brains notifying us well in advance about the dad's home coming time post work. What days that were !! Wow. But, ask me honestly or for that matter anyone of my generation mates, did we hate it ? Answer is: that time yes we did. But now ? NO.. WE CHERISH THAT.

A true saviour, superhero, if I can call him, who sacrificed every single joy of him, just to make sure we have what we need and also we are not going on the wrong path with what we get, by limiting the resources only to what we actually need.

Dad, to me, is not the second most important person of my life, but he is equivalent to my mom and they both are far far ahead of any other Gods or goddesses that can ever exist.

Love you dad. MyOnlySuperHero. #Respect.

Your Son.